Tuesday, December 14, 2004
This holidays for me is also a time for me to think about all the things i had did for the year 2004. Today something suddenly came to my mind. A question pops up, asking me, AM I CHANGING?
I thought for a while, then I feel that I had changed through this year. I know that people will change as they grow up. The only thing is, they had changed to a better person or a even worst person. To me I was quite confused. I think I had changed alot, in the past of me, I was a quiet, think twice before speaking, try to always think for others before myself, caring about how others would feel. But I think now I had changed, I no longer was a quiet person, I would talk much, rubbish and crap, I wouldn't think twice before speaking. Instead talking without using my brain, thus might hurt someone, or anger people. I wouldn't care about how anyone feels, maybe i had hurt alot people? I really don't know. I think i had changed, changing to even worst! I hoped someone would tell me how bad I am. Maybe I will be better?? But there is no perfect! Haiz I don't know.
In the past, I will never hate anyone, not to even say dislike. But now, I begin to dislike people. I always believed, no one is perfect. Everyone has bad and good side of him or her. We dislikes or hate someone is because we didn't see the good side of the person. If we saw the good side of the person, I believe no one will hate or dislike someone. But I think I really changed alot. The past of me is gone!! haix....
How I wished I could go back to the Madeline I was before.I think that is really me?
I really don't know. I am so confused now. Maybe I should sit at a small corner of the world and start thinking about myself and the life i am living now. I should try and change myself, back to the one I was before, back to the Madeline.......
thats what friends are for;
10:38 PM
